Oyez, Oyez, Oyez. Burghers and mini-burghers of Muswell Hill, pray listen up to two important announcements.
First, I hereby declare that I have been elected Mayor of Muswell Hill nemine contradicente, by unanimous Facebook petition to Boris Johnson, and that I am delighted to have been elected Mayor of this most desirable metropolitan enclave: renowned for its elegant architecture, magnificent shopping parades, churches, pubs and cinema, woods and walks, imaginative off-street parking and glorious weather, it is indeed the most beautiful place in the world.
Second, it is my responsibility as Mayor to announce the naming of this square, triangle, trapezium, arboretum and esplanade on which we stand. It is the Jewel in the Muswell Hill Crown, dedicated to the purposes which we see here today: buying and selling, billing and cooing, brass band music, festivals and fun and also, not in evidence today, the gathering of pupils from Fortismere school to communicate with each other, by telephone, over a bag of the Best Chips in Town.
Roger Ward chairs the Muswell Hill Traders Group and he and I have been working through over a hundred suggestions for a suitable name. It was a difficult task. Some on the lines of Kinks Corner we put to one side as being more N2 than N10, those invoking the founding contribution of James Edmondson seemed a little too serious whereas others, particularly the one with a dedication to our Yummy Mummies, were slightly too frivolous. But one name came through with a surge of support so strong that we were perplexed as to whom to identify as the proposer for the purposes of the plaque. We eventually decided that, since the plaque has a long life ahead of it, we would identify the youngest: seven year old Daniel Diaz Wisniewski