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Are you ready to unpack your emotional baggage?

3 suitcases in a receeding size pile alongside a single suitcase

What I’m referring to can be also described as the “mother-in-law effect”, or in other words the idea that the exact same line coming from your own mother may have a significantly different effect than when coming from your mother-in-law.⠀

And this is something that often happens in our relationships with others, especially following a negative experience with a specific person.⠀

We often slide into a self-protection mode and allow our negative assumptions to cloud our judgement. Nothing that is said is evaluated objectively. We think how the statements ‘feel’ when they land rather than thinking of what the person meant when they said it. ⠀

Does it resonate?⠀

My advice: Start with a Positive Assumption⠀

The next time you react to something that person says, turn the situation on its head. Start with a positive assumption, rather than a negative one. Instead of assuming the person is attacking you, start by assuming that they are adding value.⠀

Not easy, but worth trying..


Counselling Muswell Hill

Live the best life you can. For the last 8 years I have worked with depression in all its disguises. You can take off the mask with me.

I am a fully registered member of the BACP

For more information contact Mary McIlroy


07769 218281

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