How to get what you want
This month I want to tell you about an excellent coaching tool which I have used many times myself with astounding success. I use the word “astounding” judiciously because as you will see this device is ridiculously simple, but also its deceptively powerful, so why not give it a try?
It’s called making a list.
Let’s say you want a new relationship. You get a piece of paper and a pen and write a list of everything you want in the other person, even though you don’t yet know who they are. Make sure to mention every quality, every interest, every physical, mental and emotional characteristic you want in your prospective partner, in as much detail as possible.
This of course requires a degree of awareness and self-knowledge so don’t worry if you get one or two items on your list wrong, or if you forget something vital. You can edit or fine tune it at any time.
Something to bear in mind of vital importance – don’t be afraid to ask for exactly what you want, no matter how embarrassing or immodest or kinky or unlikely it might seem to be. This is not a time to worry about being politically correct, this is your opportunity to get your needs met, and that’s vital in any happy relationship! And of course, your list is completely private.
Try to write as spontaneously as you can, without even thinking about it, or your mind will jump in and start censoring. This ideally has to come from your heart.
Here’s an example:
WHAT I WANT IN MY NEW RELATIONSHIP
. A woman between 25 and 35
. With dark hair
. Brown eyes
. About five foot six inches tall
. Wants to have children
. Wants someone to love
. Wants to be loved by me
. Able to accept me for who I am
. Interested in motor racing (or dancing or Tai Chi, or whatever)
. Wants to come on long country walks
. Loves Chinese food
. Wants to travel
I’m sure you get the gist.
Now what’s the point? Well for starters the first pre-requisite for a successful and happy relationship is a suitable partner. This exercise helps you to get clear about what a suitable partner for you is, so when you meet a possible candidate you will know at once.
Secondly, writing things down is a great way to imprint what you want clearly in your mind. You could call it self-brainwashing. This is important in ensuring your self-awareness is strong enough to help you avoid being sabotaged by your conditioning or self-limiting beliefs.
Thirdly, your mind will always make more for you of whatever is your dominant thought. There is a saying you should be careful what you ask for, because that is what you will get. That’s why you must be precise. Make sure you ask for whatever is right for you, for that is what you will get. Doing this exercise will help you develop the exact mindset you need to make this happen.
Of course you can use exactly the same technique for other things, for example getting the perfect job. I fact I used it myself only this morning because I need to find a reliable, conscientious and economical builder. My list was headed WHAT I WANT IN A BUILDER.
It may sound daft but I know from experience that it’s only a matter of time before I get what I want.
See Dave’s blog at www.heavenlyvibrations.wordpress.com and feel free to leave a comment.
You can e-mail Dave at [email protected] or ‘phone him on 0208 374 7911.