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Mitt: the blundering toddler with his shoelaces untied

They say you’re meant to gain a sense of self-awareness at around age 4, pushing 5 for the slow developers and count yourself lucky to find a rare exception at 6. But I’ve found an anomalous specimen:  he’s 65, greying and challenging Obama for the US Presidency.

You see, what baffles me about the unfolding 2012 US electoral race entering this final ‘hot paced’ Autumnal siege, is that I genuinely cannot see how it’s a race at all. This was exemplified perfectly last week as the Federal Reserve decided to invest $40bn per month in bond purchases to spur growth, resulting in Romney’s delayed, weak and predictably hollow response to simply slate Obama for creating the situation in the first place (yawn). But he’s stabbed himself in the foot, highlighting the severe lack of solidified Republican policy on the table.

If we shift the leisurely cream cake opposition role aside, what has Mitt proposed himself in the way of legislative innovation?  A plan for some job training and repealing a medical reform bill that hasn’t even been passed yet. Oh, and the medical bill being near identical to one he proposed passing as Governor of Massachusetts, I must add. Looking formidable Willard.

Mitt RomneyThen again, perhaps his charisma and charm of his surrounding think tank unit are his rising force? Well, unless a tax evading, Mormon plutocrat shiftily sliding out from the shadows of the ominous Bain Capital (who also looks like he’s a 1950s president from a Disney cartoon) and his cat fish catching conservative, Ayn Rand worshipping young whipper snapper Vicey float your boat, then no, that box is left un-ticked.

Ah, then surely a strong international figurehead ready to take the global stage is his stride? Well, if naming Russia as a greater threat than al Qaeda and alienating America’s closest ally with brash remarks over their sports hosting capabilities counts, then Mitt’s your man.

I’m sorry, but no matter how much this election may be about ‘the economy, stupid’ and no matter how unfulfilled Obama’s plans may stand, I can’t see how the world can let a man like Mitt in. Can a man who just insulted 47% of the voting population of the USA with sloppy conservative rhetoric, a man who continued embarrassing, poorly researched attacks capitalising on Obama being anti-American while a nation grieved for lost and cherished civil servicemen abroad, a man so seemingly lacking in self-awareness and sound judgement of the public mood truly rise to be the most powerful man in the world? If so, we have some serious, serious issues.

But I have faith in human common sense. With Florida looking ambiguous , It surely shouldn’t be long before we have a repeat of 2004, where, just as Bush did, we can watch Obama fish his second term on a neat little Utah majority. Regardless of what’s spewed, it’s not neck and neck. Obama may not be running a Bolt but at least he’s on the track and sticking to his lane, while Mitt thuds along behind, mumbling wheezy criticisms with his shoe laces untied. The real bet here is not who’ll win, but rather how will Mitt lose;  a gradual run out of puff or a humiliating trip over those scraggy, outdated laces.



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